Random Thought…

I recently watched the movie Austenland. Which is about a modern girl who goes to this Jane Austen resort where she basically gets to live out a Jane Austen story. In the movie they mention how Mr. Darcy is the ideal man, now this not the first time I have heard this. I started thinking about why women seem to think this.

I will say that I have never read a Jane Austen book, past the first three chapters of Pride and Prejudice. I have seen several of the movie adaptions of her novels. When we first meet Mr. Darcy he is a complete ass. Yes he does redeem himself but not until halfway through the story. Why do we make this our ideal man?

Look at the other man in this story, Mr Bingley. He is sweet and overly nice the whole time, he does not seem to care about class like the others do. He does allow Darcy to talk him out of his thing with Jane but really that is the only flaw I really see. People seem not to be like “Oh I need to find me a Mr. Bingley.” Perhaps it is because there does not seem to be any real person like Bingley, I have met one person that I would call a Mr. Bingley ever. There might not be a lot of Mr. Darcy’s around either but there are a lot of jerks. So maybe the real reason we like Darcy is because it gives us hope that the person we are with are just jerks right now but if we stick around long enough we will see we had been wrong all along. Rarely does that happen, if they seem to be a complete ass they probably are a complete ass. 

Books and Movies are filled with romance that is not very realistic, and we know that it is not likely we would ever experience that sort of romance but we still enjoy the fantasy. I do not think it wrong that people fantasize about finding their own person Mr. Darcy. I just find it interesting that out of all of the men in Jane Austen’s stories, he is the one that really sticks out to people as the ultimate man. Colin Firth and Matthew Macfadyen may have helped with that as well. 

That was just something I was thinking about…


Short Story: Imaginary

  I remember the exact moment I came into existence, it only took a second but yet it felt like an eternity. There I was a brand new fully grown adult with all of these memories of a life and a family that I never knew. I was the result of the imagination of a litter girl named Mackenzie.
Mackenzie lived with her parents and an older sister Sadie. Sadie was sickly, she was in and out of the hospital and so their parents spent most of their time and energy on Sadie. Mackenzie felt alone and unloved. So about the time she five years old she imagined me. I was her escape from her loneliness, she just wanted a friend of her very own.
Mackenzie named me Pepper Crayon. she imagined that I grew up on a farm with my mother, who use to be a ballerina. My father was a clown with a traveling circus, so he was not around much. Most of my time was spent with my mother. She was very loving and supportive. She wanted me to chase my wildest dreams and never worry about what others may think. My dream was to become a world famous musician and to see the world. My instrument of choice is the Flukoharp, a small string instrument that you play with a bow. I was chasing my dream when I found Mackenzie, a sad girl that all I wanted to do was be her friend and make her happy. So I put my dream on hold to keep her company.
My past felt like it had really happened but yet I knew it that it had not. I guess it really did not matter what was real and what just felt real. I was there for Mackenzie to be her friend and make her happy and I did. For three years I was her best friend, we spent our afternoons pretending to drink tea, playing dress up and just living as a child should. Mackenzie was seen as a strange child, she always seemed to be talking to herself when in reality she was talking to me. The other kids could not see me and found her odd so they stayed away from her. Around her eighth birthday a new girl came to school. They became best friends almost instantly.
I really was happy for Mackenzie to finally have an actual friend. A part of knew me that we could not go on like this forever, but it did not mean I wanted it to. No one could not be friends with a figment of their imagination for their entire life without becoming an outcast their own live. All I wanted was more time but it was already beginning to happen. She started spending less and less time with me, and I began wondered what would become of me. My entire existence relied solely on this little girl how could I exist without her. I wondered if I would simply just disappear from this world is it would hurt, or worse it would not hurt. That suddenly I would just be gone and I would not even realize I was gone. There was nothing I could do to prevent what was going to happen and that was the worse part about it. It was not fair to be given life and then for it to be taken away as quickly as I was given it. All I want was just to continue being.
I thought that when it happened that it would be something big like giant beams of light with a heartfelt goodbye between Mackenzie and but there wasn’t. Mackenzie just stopped talking to me, everything felt just the same as it always had. I thought that she was just ignoring me and pretending see me. Time went on and I had to come to terms with the fact she had stopped believing in me.
I was surprised that I was still around , but I was relieved to have not been completely erased from all existence. At first I stuck close to Mackenzie since I did not know what else I could do. I had always just been her for her. It was strange being able to just be here for me. I could now do whatever made me happy, I had dreams to see the world and now I could finally fulfill those dreams. So set out without saying goodbye to Mackenzie, I really did not see the point.
I went out into the world saw all of the places I always wanted to. I should have felt fulfilled and happy but instead I felt sad and empty. I kept on scouring the world hoping to find some point to it all or at least some form of happiness. I did find happiness for a short time in a young street musician name Dakota. I fell instantly in love with music, he was a brilliant musician. Hundreds of people would pass him a day but no one seemed to really listen. Sure they would occasionally drop a few bucks into his guitar case but they could not have really heard him. If they had heard him they would have instantly become entranced and lost within his music. People never seem to notice things that live outside there own world. They are so involved with there personal lives to stop and really take in the world around them. This is why true beauty and art is lost and tossed aside.
Every night he would set out his guitar case and play for hours. Sometimes I would play my Flukoharp along with him. I knew he could not hear me playing along with him but it was the one time I really felt connect and live in this world. In that time I felt content and happy with where I was.
I never wanted to admit that I was in love with Dakota, but it did not make it any less true. From the beginning I knew that loving him was hopeless. He would never know my name, my face or even the sound of my voice, he would never know me. We would never exist in the same world but that did not stop me from being near him. I thought that just being near him was enough to keep me happy. That was until the day he met a girl. I watch as the fell in love every moment tore me apart but I was determent to stay by him. His wedding day would be the day it finally became to hard. I went to the church and waited for the pastor asked if anyone objected and I yelled at the top of my lungs all the objections in the world. I poured my heart and soul out for everyone to hear, but they couldn’t. Dakota married that woman and all was lost.
I became very angry at the world at that point. I could not understand the point of my existence. I was not of the world, I was just a quite observer helpless to do anything. My existence was cruel, I had no where to go nothing to live for. I just did absolutely nothing for a while, I just said outside on a bench waiting for time to pass.
As I sat there thoughts of Mackenzie and the family she had created for me came to mind. I wondered if it was possible that they could be out there in the world somewhere. For the first time I had hopes to find others that lived apart from the world just like me. I was excited at the thought that I might get to see my parents. I did miss them even if I had never actually met them.
I set out for me childhood home even though I knew it was a long shot. I got to my street and I walked around the corner and then there I was standing outside the house I grew up in, it was real. My imaginary heart pounded, for the first time I allowed myself to believe that my mother was actually really and was inside waiting for me at that very moment. I went inside and I did not find my mother, inside I found nothing at all. The house had been abandoned for quite sometime. I did not give up my search if anything I had more reason to hope than ever. My childhood house was real, then may my mother was too.
I search the entire country but I did not find any sign of my mother or my father. I could not give up my search because I knew that giving up meant admitting that my life really had no meaning The truth was I did not have any meaning to my life. I was searching for something that I would never find because it didn’t exist, so I gave up.
I started to thinking about Mackenzie and wondered how much time had past since I last saw her. She was the only person I was ever truly real to she was my last hope to find meaning. I went to her house but found no one was home. I walked around looking at the house, I finally felt like I was home. There was a newspaper, it was turned to the funeral announcements. I instantly recognized the one of the men pictured, it was Mackenzie’s father. Everyone must have been at the funeral. I rushed to the cemetery and I got there just as everyone was leaving. I searched and search until finally I found her. She was a grown woman, but there was no doubt it was her. She looked a lot different, but she was still the same little girl I just to have tea parties with.
As soon as I saw her I knew what my purpose was. It was Mackenzie it had always been Mackenzie. I was her imaginary friend, I existed to be here for her. She may not remember me, believe in me or even able to see me but I knew in some way she still needed me and I would be around until the day she no longer needs me.
I stood there watcher Mackenzie as she walked around the cemetery. Suddenly her head shot over in my direction as if some thing had caught her eye. Our eyes met and she stood there frozen. Slowly a smile crept across her face and in that moment I finally felt complete.


ImageI think my dog maybe secretly plotting my death. I got my dog Darcy when she was just 8 weeks old. Why would I ever suspect that something that adorable would be capable of something so dark and sinister. She had me fooled for a long time but here lately I have caught on to her game. 

About a month ago I was in the kitchen fixing lunch when I suddenly I had a strange feeling that I was being watched. I looked up and saw Darcy staring at me through the reflection of the television. ImageAfter that I began to notice that no matter where I went in the house she was always right there waiting and watching me with her cold dark eyes. I know not what exactly she is planning, but I am sure it can be nothing good. I do not know when she will strike or what she is waiting for. Perhaps all of the canines in the world are planning an uprising to take down the humans. 


Although I could not imagine dogs coming up with a plan like that one their own, after all they are suppose to be mans best friend. In reality if an uprising does occur it would probably be at the hand of the cat, malicious creatures. 

I could be wrong she could be watching me thinking I am the evil one. I can not say for sure, but maybe you should keep and extra close eye on your pouch just in case there is an uprising in the works….

Ok so I dont really think my dog is trying to kill me but she does seem to always be staring at me which is a little unnerving. 

A fun fact about Dalmatians is that they “smile”. Which I thought would be a neat thing, how wrong I was. It is quite terrifying and she does it all the time. So I will leave you with one finale picture of my adorable dog “smiling” to end this absurd post.