If My Dog Could Talk

I have a two year old Dalmatian. She is a pretty vocal dog and I feel like I can usually tell what she is trying to tell me.

On a typical night I sit on my bed and piddle around on my computer for an hour or so before I decided I am too tired to continue being awake.

Well my dog likes to curl up in a ball at my feet. Which is fine while I am sitting cross-legged doing my computer thing. Then it comes time to actually lay down and go to sleep which she is now in my way and preventing me to do so.

Let me tell you this dog is a moody little thing, but I would probably be moody too if someone did to me what I do to her. First I pat the bed beside me and tell her to move, this method works 10% of the time. She just looks at me with this sort of sad look and I can only image if she could talk she would be saying “I’m soooo comfortable here. I have my little stuffed duck and we made a little bed her. please don’t make me move.”

I ignore her futile please like the evil person I am and move on to nudging her and telling her to move, this works about 40% of the time. At this point she is making deep groans which I take as “Seriously! You are doing this!”

At this point have given up on her moving on her own and I gently pick her up to the point she decides to stand up on her own. So I have now claimed victory over the bed and so I now lay down and get all comfy in my bed. While my dog is sitting up by my head looking down at me. The cold look she is giving me and this point can only say one thing “You Bitch.”

I apologize and pat her on the head but she does not accept my apologize. She knows Im not truly sorry. She plops down on the bed as if she weighed two-hundred pounds. Again I pet her and she just lets out this deep breath. I just image her mumbling words of hate towards me and about how she got that spot all warm and then I made her move to the cold part of the bed.

Eventually she forgives me and nuzzles up against me acting all loving wanting me to pet her belly. Then we are good… until we do it all again tomorrow night.

Its tough being a dog.

Being Human.

It is hard being human, all of the pain worry and fear. No, I think I would rather be a dog. I would spend all day in unaware happiness. I would run around all day chasing balls and butterflies. I could be happy being a dog but I was never good at being obedient.

It is hard being human, all of the responsibility having to work everyday. I would rather be a cat. Spend my days laying in the sun. Cat’s don’t have to worry about jobs or money, they don’t caring about a single thing. I would do whatever I wanted because I would be a cat and that’s what cats do. I don’t think I would be a good cat, I was never good at landing on my feet.

It is hard being human, loving and losing, I wish I could be a bird. I would fly far away from here, not another thought I would give you. I would fly so high and far away you would never see me again. I would never come down I would stay up in the clouds all day. I wish I could just fly away but alas I am afraid of heights.

You made it easy being human. You brought the joy and laughter into my life. We spent the summer dancing in fields without any worry or thought that that moment would even come to an end. It did end, you left and there is nothing I can do.

I am human and but as human I am strong and I will endure.

Space Junkers

8218*2246*3332

This is Captain Tobias Harlan Hamm making his second log entry aboard the RRS Truvate.
We have just come off our first mission, which was to salvage U.P.A equipment and data from the messenger ship the MAS Helbert.
I can not say the mission went exactly smooth. Huxley showed up hungover. He had no idea how to work any of the computers, which I am not sure if it was just because he was so hungover or if he really has not idea how a computer works… We did not end up being able to retrieve any of the data from the ship because Huxley vomited all over… well all over everything and broke the system.
We did get all of the equipment off the ship that we were suppose to, but we may have broken the Jenja… I have no idea what a Jenja is or does, but it is very large and very heavy. It was the last thing we decided to load on to our ship. Huxley refused to help and just sat in the corner complaining about how bad he felt.
It turns out Enu and I are not very good at communicating with one another. We were both caring it and I told him to turn to turn left but I meant my left which was his right. Long story short we dropped it, it is now missing several pieces and my hand is broken.
Polly has put a cast on my hand up keeps trying to… comfort me. It has been an interesting day to say the least.
I am sure our next mission will go better, we are all new at this. We are now in route to deliver what were able to retrieve and that’s all I have for now.
Thank you U.P.A for listening this has been Captain Tobias Harlan Hamm, still just trying to get a hang of this whole thing.

Space Junkers

8217*14427*3332

This is Captain Tobias Harlan Hamm and this is my first entry from abroad the SAS Truvate.
I am not sure if anyone at the Universal Peace Administration will listen to this log but as Captain it is my duty and I am a professional. I know most of the people at U.P.A thinks that the R&R division is a joke and they even call us Junkers. It is important an important division, without it our administrations equipment and data could fall into the wrong hands.
I would just like to say that I am just glad they could give me a ship of any sorts to captain. I should have been aboard one of the Elite ships but due to unfortunate circumstances I was unable to complete my test on time and therefore all the available slots were taken. The academy was nice enough to let me take my test without having to go through the next session.
I am the first in my class to make captain , even if it is of a scavenger vessel…
I have gotten off track.
It has been exactly one week since we left command. We have yet to have a real mission, so basically we are just floating around waiting to be called to a wreckage. I know the crew and I are ready to actually get to really work with one another.
Speaking of the crew I just realized I have yet to do the crew list, you know in case we all die you guys know exactly who is aboard to notify the families and all.
There are six crew members aboard the Truvate, myself included. Yes, most scavenger vessels are manned by just three crew members but they felt we could really shine if we had the three extra crew members, or they just gave me what members they had left over and had no other place for.
Among our crew we have our pilot Calix Foxglove. From everything I have seen so far from him he seems like and excellent pilot. I have no idea why he did not get stationed aboard one of the Elites, or any ship other than this one.
Secondly we have Huxley Sutton who is our computer data retriever guy. He was once the head scientist aboard three different explore ships. From what I could gather he had to be relocated because of personality conflicts with, well everyone. I have spent very little time talking to him but so far all of our conversations have been him talking about himself and how he was above working on a “Junker” Ship. I think he just needs sometime to adjust and then he will come around.
Then we have… Enu Gruffin our… muscle? I am sorry I am not really sure what everyone’s official title is. Basically he helps with any of the heavy equipment that needs to be carried back abroad our ship. He is a descendant of the colonist of the plant Igrana. Yes the Igra are the ones had that big war against us and almost destroyed civilization as we know it, but Enu was just a child when they went to war and his people our completely different from the ones that went to war with us. It is unfortunate that he looks like and Igra and so there is a lot of hate and prejudice against him. That is why he was assigned to my ship, otherwise he would have been a great solider. He has been nothing but nice and professional this one week I have known him.
That brings us to the girls…
We have Anwen Ripley, daughter of Gavin Ripley the head of U.P.A. She is our ships engineer. She is supposedly genius seeing how she passed all her tests without going to a single class. I have yet to get her to speak a single word to me but I have heard he speaking to the ship. I am not really sure what that is about but it cute, in a weird creepy sort of way…
Then we have Polyhmnia Alden our medical girl. Polly is… friendly, very very friendly. She is so friendly she had to swith fields twice and had to be reassigned from the EAS Markin. I have to keep showing her which room is hers and which room is actually mine.
Well that is everyone aboard the Truvate. We may seem like a bunch of misfits but I am sure we will come together to become the best R&R crew out there.
Well… I am not really sure what all I am really suppose to say. They don’t train you on how to do the logs at the academy. I think I have gone over everything.
Thank you members of U.P.A for listening .
This has been Captain Tobias Harlan Hamm, eagerly awaiting our first job.

Thoughts of a Stolen Guitar

I have been thinking about you a lot lately. The truth is I have never stopped thinking about you. I just don’t understand what happened to you. One minute you were here the next you were gone without even saying goodbye.
I wish I knew why you disappeared, or even just know what happened to you. We were so close, you were my whole world. There is nothing I would not have done for you. I was there from the very beginning, I saw your highs and lows. I helped grow your love for music. You took me with you were ever you would go. I just don’t see how you could leave me behind without another thought.
I miss everything about you, I miss your face, your voice. I miss the way you use to stroke your fingers across my body.
Now that I think about it maybe I am the one that went away. I don’t recognize these strange people around me. I am not even sure were I am, it is not a place that you ever took me.
These people never pay any attention to me, they keep me hidden away. I don’t understand what is going on but if I am the one that went away I wonder if you are looking for me.
No, I am sure you are looking for me. I will never give up hope that someday we will be reunited again. I am and will forever be your guitar.

Tinsley

This my pet spider Tinsley. Tinsley has been living behind my mirror for the last two weeks. 

Every time I get into my car Tinsley is just sitting there in its web waiting to say ‘hello’.

Sometimes when I start driving I am afraid that Tinsley is going to blow away never to be seen again. I have had a few scares but once my car comes to a stop I look over and see Tinsley making a mad dash to its home behind the mirror. 

I fear that one day Tinsley is going to have a million babies that are going to emerge from their home behind the mirror to devour me while I am trying to drive, which would be quite rude.

I do not believe that location is the best for a spiderweb, but its been there for two weeks so I guess it cant be that bad…

Procrastination: The Death of Creativity!

Ok, maybe not the death of creativity but it is still not good when it comes to keep up a blog. 

All day at work I think up these creative and interesting blog posts and you know what happens when I come home? I take a nap! Once I take a nap all of those things I came up with out work gets sucked into this abyss that exist deep in dreamland. It also does not help that I have about a two and a half minute attention span. I open up my computer to write and somehow three hours have past and I have not even open my word document. I don’t even know what I do with those three hours its like I black out and all I have to show for it is three new playlists on Spotify.

Today at work I told myself I would come home drink a bunch of coffee, so I would not want to nap, and was basically going to have a blog posting explosion!! Basically I was just going to write a bunch of “stories” and whatever popped into my head, didn’t really matter what it was.Guess what I did when I got home? That’s right, I took a nap.

Once I woke up from that nap I drank two cups off coffee, I am about to get a third, which means I am really hyper right now. My phone is currently sitting at the bottom of a bowl of rice. Really anything could happen at this point.

Coffee this late in the evening is never good!

Time for a third cup….

Random Thought…

I recently watched the movie Austenland. Which is about a modern girl who goes to this Jane Austen resort where she basically gets to live out a Jane Austen story. In the movie they mention how Mr. Darcy is the ideal man, now this not the first time I have heard this. I started thinking about why women seem to think this.

I will say that I have never read a Jane Austen book, past the first three chapters of Pride and Prejudice. I have seen several of the movie adaptions of her novels. When we first meet Mr. Darcy he is a complete ass. Yes he does redeem himself but not until halfway through the story. Why do we make this our ideal man?

Look at the other man in this story, Mr Bingley. He is sweet and overly nice the whole time, he does not seem to care about class like the others do. He does allow Darcy to talk him out of his thing with Jane but really that is the only flaw I really see. People seem not to be like “Oh I need to find me a Mr. Bingley.” Perhaps it is because there does not seem to be any real person like Bingley, I have met one person that I would call a Mr. Bingley ever. There might not be a lot of Mr. Darcy’s around either but there are a lot of jerks. So maybe the real reason we like Darcy is because it gives us hope that the person we are with are just jerks right now but if we stick around long enough we will see we had been wrong all along. Rarely does that happen, if they seem to be a complete ass they probably are a complete ass. 

Books and Movies are filled with romance that is not very realistic, and we know that it is not likely we would ever experience that sort of romance but we still enjoy the fantasy. I do not think it wrong that people fantasize about finding their own person Mr. Darcy. I just find it interesting that out of all of the men in Jane Austen’s stories, he is the one that really sticks out to people as the ultimate man. Colin Firth and Matthew Macfadyen may have helped with that as well. 

That was just something I was thinking about…

Six Word Story Wednesday

The snowman wept at winter’s end.

Another Six Word Story

Ink creatures arose from the pages