If My Dog Could Talk

I have a two year old Dalmatian. She is a pretty vocal dog and I feel like I can usually tell what she is trying to tell me.

On a typical night I sit on my bed and piddle around on my computer for an hour or so before I decided I am too tired to continue being awake.

Well my dog likes to curl up in a ball at my feet. Which is fine while I am sitting cross-legged doing my computer thing. Then it comes time to actually lay down and go to sleep which she is now in my way and preventing me to do so.

Let me tell you this dog is a moody little thing, but I would probably be moody too if someone did to me what I do to her. First I pat the bed beside me and tell her to move, this method works 10% of the time. She just looks at me with this sort of sad look and I can only image if she could talk she would be saying “I’m soooo comfortable here. I have my little stuffed duck and we made a little bed her. please don’t make me move.”

I ignore her futile please like the evil person I am and move on to nudging her and telling her to move, this works about 40% of the time. At this point she is making deep groans which I take as “Seriously! You are doing this!”

At this point have given up on her moving on her own and I gently pick her up to the point she decides to stand up on her own. So I have now claimed victory over the bed and so I now lay down and get all comfy in my bed. While my dog is sitting up by my head looking down at me. The cold look she is giving me and this point can only say one thing “You Bitch.”

I apologize and pat her on the head but she does not accept my apologize. She knows Im not truly sorry. She plops down on the bed as if she weighed two-hundred pounds. Again I pet her and she just lets out this deep breath. I just image her mumbling words of hate towards me and about how she got that spot all warm and then I made her move to the cold part of the bed.

Eventually she forgives me and nuzzles up against me acting all loving wanting me to pet her belly. Then we are good… until we do it all again tomorrow night.

Its tough being a dog.

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